Keeping up with the...who again?

Why is it that I feel the sudden urge to brag to Grace's pediatrician every time we go in? Not only about her but about myself? I am of course up on her developmental milestones, since I am an SLP...therefore, when he told me "she's doing everything we want her to be doing", I was underwhelmed to say the least. Of course my daughter is pulling to stand, and her receptive language is kicking in (in Spanish), of course. She is not saying words yet, but - come on! She is only 10 months after all. And what most people call first words are really babbling. She is able to follow basic one-step directions with a variety of words and is showing excellent social referencing. And even though she doesn't have any actual words, she sure is communicating with her hands and face. She lets us know when she has to go to the bathroom, when she is hungry, when she is sleepy, etc. Oh, and did I mention that she has a grasp of the concepts of happy and sad? Not to mention the fact that over 95% of the time, she is a happy, sociable, fun baby! So, could I just be happy that she is off the charts a wonderful daughter? No, I need the pediatrician to be impressed as well. And, while he's a nice enough fellow, he definitely did not display the amazement that anyone in their right mind should display when in the presence of such a baby Einstein (is that trademarked? oops)! So, when he told me that she was right where she needs to be, with the exception of her gargantuan head (97th percentile, while height and weight are definitely nowhere near that), I showed him by simply nodding my head and trying to get Grace to show off. Kids are so modest at this age, so naturally, she did not show him many of her skills.

So, why did I feel the need to impress this unimpressive pediatrician? What hormone courses through a mother's veins that makes them feel this constant urge to show up everyone around them? And why, even though I know it makes me look ridiculous, can't I stop? Is it preparation for the later years when I will embarrass her by wearing the mom jeans and spitting onto my finger to wipe eye gunk out of her eyes, while yelling "I love you" at the top of my lungs? Is it some darwinian leftover skill from when only the best made it past toddlerhood? Is it simply the parental version of keeping up with the Jones'? Whatever it is, I left the office feeling kind of foolish for having had such strong feelings...

Jan/Feb, by Marcella McCollum

I'd like to share my Walgreens Photo Center photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.

Epiphany- or life and all it's distractions.

Well, maybe it's a bit of an overstatement, but I had been looking for how to keep a journal about how I have been feeling since Grace was born, complete with the little joys/challenges. I totally forgot about my blog...

Anyways, there is WAY too much to start at the beginning, and I wouldn't begin to be able to remember every little time she caused my heart to jump or skip a beat, as well as the times when I felt like an awful mom. So, we'll start with today.

Today I worked a full day - well, I missed my wake up call from James (who is in Chicago, the lucky devil) and so had to wait for traffic to die down to drive to work. Luckily I had no appointments and was able to work at home while the rush hour passed. I met with a variety of work colleagues, had a good therapy session and assessed a beautiful child who is trying her best to communicate. Then the rain came. I tried to get my mom to drive up with me so that I could stay later at work, but when no one would come with me, I decided to drive home early, see and nurse Grace and then go to Peet's to work on a report. Good thing - I just got an alert that my commute, which is supposed to take 35 minutes was taking 65 minutes at 4:30. So, I went home, nursed Grace and played for a little while. Then, I went to Peet's. I started off well enough, scoring test results, but when it came time to write the report, I noticed that I was distracted. So, here we are...no report written, and it has been an hour. I need to get home to be a mom to Grace, but when Ines (family who takes care of Grace) is there, I feel like I don't have to, and I know that Ines will be leaving soon enough, and I will go back to having my two full-time jobs. Grace, and work...

Does that sound resentful? It's times like this that I feel guilty most of all. I wonder if I can truly do both jobs well, and shouldn't I be putting more time into the most important one? Nevermind the fact that I am actually in a good place at work and don't have to finish this report today because I have time blocked off tomorrow for that very purpose. I guess I feel like if I had time today, and since I left a little early, I should put in the time. Just some musings that have kept me from work today. Nothing big or noteworthy, but maybe if I start today, I will actually get to capture those heart-tugging moments, or heart-wrenching ones as well. Thanks for letting me share.

Winter Break!

I worked really hard from November 19th to December 19th, and am proud to say that I took 8 cases from evaluation through to the IEP - for those of you in the school system, I know you're impressed. For those of you coming from the Children's system, 8 in one month is still pretty cool, considering the fact that I was also seeing kids. And, being in the school system means that I get a break for a couple of weeks! I am starting to get a little more tired, and the belly is getting quite a bit bigger, so this break is coming at a good time. I don't know how much sitting around doing nothing will occur though. We finally opened the last of the boxes last night, so while we have opened all boxes, our apartment is a MESS- I have spent several hours working on it each day, and it will keep going.

Oh, and by the way, the in-laws are coming. While it will be fun, I think it will be busy also. My goal is to have the apartment in neat condition by the New Year, and to rest as much as possible. Wish me luck!

Working, at last! And, a life update...

Sorry it's been a while...
I did get my license, the day before my birthday. Since then, I have been extremely overwhelmed working on the many backlogged evaluations, IEPs, therapy sessions that had just been waiting for me. Work is going well with the exception that about 3 times a week, I feel like there is NO way I will be able to complete everything I need to. But, then, it falls into place, so overall, I am happy.

Personally, we finally moved out of my parents house. It was just too frustrating to have James leave the house at 5:25AM and come home at 7:40PM. By the time he ate and got comfortable, I was ready for bed. We settled on Belmont, a mid-way point for us. His commute has been cut in half (from 2 hours to 1 hour) and my commute has increased by 5-10 minutes, depending on traffic. I will take it. We are still in boxes - for those of you who have been to our house, we moved from that to a small 2 BDRM apt. so trying to find a place for all our stuff is hard. Goodwill and the Salvation Army have benefitted - we are actually donating really nice stuff, but can't use it. We really like our apartment, and although we have only signed a 6 month lease, we would feel comfortable staying there longer. Please come visit!

I had my last birthday BC (before child- hopefully!) so that was fun. I got an ipod nano from James and he got my old ipod. I also got some gift cards, which will be WELL used, a board game that we look forward to using once we have a horizontal area to use (tables are full of stuff), and some home decoration goods. I also got some birthday cards and notes from Reuben Lindh-ers which was really nice. And, I got some cool post-its with one of my birthday cards.

The baby is moving- a lot! We decided not to find out the gender, so we have been going about 3-4 weeks talking about he then she - right now, he is a he. He is dancing or playing soccer with my internal organs - I can't tell, but it does feel good to know he's still moving around in there. We are both pretty excited about him, although knowing about friends losing children during pregnancy, shortly after and later- I find that I am probably more cautious and worried than the average pregnant woman. James does a good job of acknowledging my concerns as valid, but bringing his typical optimism into it, which helps.

The belly is growing so much that I now look pregnant and just this week went maternity shopping - the pants are SO much more comfortable than buttoning the pants below the belly. At some point, we will finally upload pictures and I will post some. We haven't taken pictures lately of my belly, but if we can clear off enough space to take a picture,we will do so this weekend. Did I mention that we are pretty crowded and still in boxes here?

Hopefully less time will pass between this post and the next one!

AARRGGH

These last few weeks have been stressful at work - My fingerprint saga continues. It all started in August (8/2), when I got my fingerprints done for my employer and the state board. I applied for state licensure mid August (when we got back from Maui), and was not allowed to contact the state licensure board until 5 weeks after submitting the application. When I contacted them, I was informed that they had never received my fingerprints. MANY, many phone calls later, I found that the fingerprints had cleared and had been sent to the wrong organization. The ones to my employer, however, had been processed. Which is nice, but doesn't allow me to work with children in the state of California. So, last week, I went to get fingerprinted for the FOURTH time. A phone call this week showed that my fingerprints had not been run for some reason, so they are being manually run, which means that it may take 2-4 more weeks to get fingerprint clearance! I hope they are this thorough with all people who work with children...

Anyways, all with the baby is well so far. We met with the doctor this week and she seems nice and competent. We have decided not to find the gender of the baby, and not to get the screening tests. I dont really want the stress of false positives, the risk of amniocentesis (SP?), etc. We will get an anatomical ultrasound in about 3-4 weeks. This should rule out most obvious anatomical defects. They will look at internal organs, and bony structure.

Hopefully, the next post will be better.

We got a comment!

I have been wondering if anyone is reading this blog - It was really exciting to see that we got our first comment! Hooray! Today marks the end of our first trimester. We are planning to celebrate in some way, and in the midst of brainstorming how to celebrate. Since I swore off tea for the first trimester, one present I get to buy myself is jasmine downy pearls tea (it's green so the caffeine levels are safe). I have narrowed down the doctor choices to two, and I know the hospital I'd like to go to. I don't know about anything else. Oh, we did decide that as of today, we will be surprised as to whether I have a little boy or girl growing inside. That may change, but I thought you'd like to know.

Thanks again for the comment, Kim!